Sunday, September 27, 2009

Week-en2 day 2

Wow what can I say about today? It was beautiful, amazing, blissful, gentle and kind. Our energy was certainly on a higher plane today as a group. Myself though I was feeling a bit achy and very emotional, this I relate to the connection that I have made with these women as well as my moon cycle which seems to be in high gear.

We did a lot of spiritual work today which was amazing. We did a chakra balancing meditation where we looked at the colours and felt them through our funnels. We moved and danced and felt it all. I found that my root chakra was quite painful today but again I am relating that to my menses.

We had another circle time and discussed the chakra balancing and this too was very powerful. The facilitator told us that she had done this exercise many times before but could not remember it being received and having such an amazing effect on her groups. As some of us shared our stories, I again felt this amazing connection. One women started to tell a portion of her birth and I started to tear up, not because of what she was saying but because I felt it - I know it sounds crazy but I was feeling the pain that she was feeling.

The facilitator is also a healer and she offered to do a healing on one of the pregnant women in the group as she is having some issues and we were welcomed to observe and participate. We were asked to continue to breathe and to keep ourselves centred and present, focusing our energy on the woman being healed. When the healing came to a certain point where the pregnant woman was asked to imagine healing herself, I again began to tear up and cry. I was feeling what she was feeling and wanted to physically reach out to her - it was amazing. I was feeling my throat close up at this point and really tried focused on opening up the throat chakra again to help facilitate her healing as well as my own. Then our facilitator walked around the room and touch each of us (I think it was everyone) and I felt her hands above my head and was feeling fine and then all of a sudden the flood gates opened and I could not stop crying. I am still not sure why I was crying, but I was. After the healing we all relaxed for a few moments before we came together as a group. The pregnant women who was being healed shared a bit of her experience with us. I sat back as I was still crying and then we took a break. It took me about 15 minutes or so before the tears stopped. I continued to breathe and tried to focus on staying open and present. Had a drink and went outside for a walk and felt much better when I returned.

After our break the Bahkti Connection a group I know well was in our room so that we could do some devotional signing or Kirtan which is something that I love! Their focus was on the divine mother so each of our chants was about the mother and about birth which was beautiful. I love expressing myself through signing and dancing and this just seemed a fitting way to finish our prenatal teacher training. As usual I was fully present in the Kirtan and was reminded how much I love this form of yoga and need to bring it back to my life.

So I have completed my Prenatal Yoga Teacher Training and I think this training should be done by anyone planning to teach prenatal yoga as well as by pregnant women. It is a truly amazing course. I look forward to next month when I start my 7 month Hatha training to see what life and mind altering things will happen within me.

Wee-End 2 day 3

Well day three was interesting. I had had a busy two weeks between, which included my husband being away, massive amounts of preserving and broken taps in our house and a 4 year old who I think is feeling the challenges of being an older brother and starting school.

So I arrived feeling a bit knackered to say the least. I felt as if I all wanted to do was either sleep or go and get some much needed retail therapy. I think I will save the therapy until next week and will squeeze some sleep in sometime. It seems that the rest of our group was feeling the same. So in our group we have two pregnant mom's to be, 4 mom's and two never had children women. However for this week-end three of the non pregnant women are on their moon cycle - interesting I think.

Given that most of us were pregnant or on our moon cycle (including the facilitator) she decided to follow our vibe and we started off with some great meditation, lying down or supported on the wall. We then did a very gentle prenatal yoga class. It is interesting receiving a yoga class designed for pregnant women when you are not pregnant. Focusing on the baby and breathing for your baby - certainly brings me back. After the asana practice we did a pranayama and meditation portion with a new mudra that I hadn't tried before - to be honest I was so tired I think I fell asleep. We then finished with the much loved sivasana which again I think I fell asleep in.

The rest of the day we talked about teaching pregnant women and how given our varied backgrounds that might be perceived and how to deal with that. The general gist of it all was be honest with your group about whatever it is is holding you back or bringing you forward. That we are not experts in pregnancy or yoga but that we are there to facilitate their practice and hopefully they will enjoy what we have come to share.

I left last night feeling rejuvenated about why I love dealing with pregnant women and excited to start teaching yoga again. It has been about 4 years since I have taught a yoga class and I really do miss it. I suppose the next step is to see if anyone will hire me to teach again as I really do love it. I also left feeling so tired and drained, this could be a combination of menstruating as well as giving so much during the day. But I feel asleep with the boys at 8:00pm woke up around 9:30pm went back to bed and aside from nursing my toddler through the night and slight interruptions from my 4 year old I slept until 8:00am.

This afternoon I head off to the final day of the prenatal portion of my training. I am sure I will not be disappointed. It is certainly a nice way to start the next 7 months of my Hatha training.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Day Two

Well day two was certainly an eye opening experience. I arrived early as my family left the house so I thought I could get to the studio and catch up on some reading. I had been anxious all morning as we were told we would be sharing birth stories (we didn't get to it thank god). I am a prenatal instructor but am not used to sharing my own birth experiences and unless it is a one on one or women I know well I am not so comfortable sharing.

We started with a great opening meditation which was great, then talked about some postures for pregnancy and how they can help with birth. There happened to be a prenatal class going on upstairs so our teacher suggested that we take it. It was such a great restorative class, I really enjoyed the nice slow paced flow - something I often don't allow myself in my own personal practice. However lately I have been dipping into Yin Yoga and enjoying it but there is still a sense of getting into a posture that was left behind today in prenatal yoga.

We then watched a great video, I use the teaching version of it in my prenatal classes but the instructor showed the much more graphic version, which I really enjoyed. We then did a great meditation to see how the birth images, cesarean images, massage, yoga, and yes circumcision images may have effected us and to see where our bodies were at the present time. I was very surprised at the feelings that were brought up for me. Not about birth but about not having more children. Watching videos where women are giving birth makes me sad that I won't experience that ever again. I guess I have been holding that back for a while but in the safety of our learning and teaching space I felt it wholeheartedly that I was sad for the baby that will never be born. Funny as I don't really know what to do with that!

Now we have a two week break. I need to design a prenatal yoga class. I am happy that this is not my first time and that I have been teaching prenatal classes for years and have a very lengthy yoga background. It will be interesting to teach it to my peers however as this is an experience that often makes me nervous.

Off to bed now. All of that yoga, meditation and sharing of ideas and learning has me completely exhausted. That and I got a parking ticket - the universe telling me I need to pay more attention to parking signs I suppose!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Day one

Well day one of the Prenatal Yoga teacher training was absolutely a learning experience. I am sure though that there is going to be much more to come. I am re-affirming my passions for pregnancy, birth and beyond. It is so wonderful to be in a group of powerful women, some who are mothers and some who are not.

I entered today with some fatigue. It had been a very rough night with Holly. She is still so little and is up frequently in the night crying and nursing and we woke up very early as usual. So the get up and go in me is not always present. I fought back with a good breakfast, a teaspoon of honey and some nettle tea. Packed my lunch bag and off I went.

I had not intended on sharing too much about myself during this class and was hoping to be more on the receiving end. But sure enough with a class of 7 women we went around a welcoming circle and introduced ourselves and told why we were there. At this point if felt I needed to tell them that I was a prenatal teacher looking for more and to share more. It was nice as I didn't feel as if I had to teach and am not always used to being in the "student" space when it comes to pregnancy and birth.

We did a yoga class which was wonderful, as well discussed some physiology - this part I am very familiar with so sat back and listened. I found this was a great opportunity for me to take some notes as to how to incorporate some of what we had done into my prenatal classes. I could be a passive listener at this point which I appreciated. We finished up with some massage, I really enjoyed this portion - both receiving and giving. I thought I had learned something new until I showed my partner and he told me he had done that during one of my labours. We did some meditation and a chant and said good bye until tomorrow.

I enter tomorrow with some trepidation as we are to share birth stories. I am very comfortable teaching and talking about births, but not my own. It is not something that I freely share with people that I don't know. My first birth being extremely traumatic and my other two being very healing and wonderful. I am always hesitant to tell people that I have had two home births after a cesarean as most think it is dangerous. I guess like all of us, I am afraid of being judged. I am certain that this is a safe space but I still have reservations.

No sense worrying about tomorrow - off to bed for some good rest.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Yoga school starts tomorrow! I am a life long learner and go into each study with gusto. I learn as much as I can usually so I can teach what I have learned. I find I learn even more by teaching. I find it oh so fitting that I start school the same week as my children so we can all experience the nervousness of starting something new together. I also find it fitting that I will be starting the Prenatal portion of the Yoga teacher training, since I have been teaching prenatal classes for several years now.

I enter this with a bit of fear. I was in a minor car accident last week, I was rear ended by a guy who was doing about 60 and didn't see that I was stopped at a red light - and I was there for at least a couple of minutes. I am suffering from whiplash and my neck and shoulders are extremely sore. I have been icing and have been for massage but am quite uncomfortable. Let's see how hard the TTC is on me with my neck. I am also hoping that these 7 months are not too difficult for my family. Above all else they are my main priority, I want to do this for me but I don't want them to suffer too much for it.

I enter tomorrow with the same feelings as my son today when he started Kindergarten for the first time. I am afraid of what is going to happen, but excited at what I am going to learn and do.