Week-end 4

Wow is all I can say. I have taken many many courses and classes in my short life but I must say I have never been so intensely riveted as I am now. I hang on every word that my teachers speak, I am quick with my pen to write it all down, lest I forget their words or teachings. I am truly blessed to be learning so much about something that I love so much.

We had our first of three written exams this week-end. I think I did fairly well. I studied and worked hard so my hope is that it has all payed off and that I pass. I was relaxed and not very nervous going into it - let it be what it is. My hope is that I learn from my mistakes and not become fixated on getting the highest mark but doing my best.

We also had our first real set of teaching. The program is built in a way that we teach first for 5 minutes, then another week-end for 10 minutes, then another for 20 and then finally for 30 to 40minutes. It is nice that the build up is slow and the number of students is also slowly built up as well. Since I have been teaching classes for a while, teaching for such a short period of time is difficult for me so I do have to work on this. I am most looking forward to our teachers feedback as most of the people in the course I think are hesitant to say anything bad whereas I don't think our teachers will be like that.

This week we are practicing asteya, which is non-stealing. It is not just in the littoral sense of stealing items but this includes stealing thoughts, words, coveting items, time, space. My challenge for myself is to stop stealing my children's words. I find that as a parent I "rule" the roost occasionally and do not always let my children finish speaking. For example when they ask me to do something, I say no - then they try and explain why they want to do it. I often don't let them tell me and just say to them that I said no. I am going to try to let them explain without cutting off their words, my answer still may be no but at least they will have had a chance to say their bit. My second practice of asteya is to stop stealing space in our house. I have found that increasingly over the years our clutter has increased. I have one small desk for my computer and it is surrounded by papers. Our hutch in the dinning room has met a similar fate. My practice of non-stealing with space begins with clutter and tossing what we don't need or want and putting away what we do.

We have a "home" group of 5 people that we get to connect with towards the end of each week-end where we discuss the Yamas and Niyamas with and it is a great time to re-group and check in. I asked if anyone was noticing changes in their relationships with all the yoga stuff that we are doing. Some said yes and others no. I have found that some of my relationships are changing drastically. I feel closer and more connected with my husband which is great and he is in some way taking on all of these challenges with me, sometimes consciously and sometimes not. So in terms of our family life it is really improving. We had a pretty great relationship before - not without its issues of course, but it is getting even better and I am thrilled about that. I am finding that my relationship with someone else who I am close to in my life is becoming more difficult. I am still trying to put it together in my head how to deal with this one. I cannot force what I am learning on this person but I know the benefits it could have on their lifestyle and our already strained relationship... The changes in myself are really great. My house is staying cleaner, I am getting rid of clutter, my diet is much better and I am feeling healthier and more alive. I am listening more to conversations most of the time rather than speaking so I am learning more about the people around me and just letting them speak and I am enjoying it. There is lots more to work on, but these are unexpected surprises and I am sure that there will be more.

More studying to do for next week-end. I swear I live for yoga, in that I mean - it's all yoga! Yoga truly is a way of life and not just pretzel like positions of the body.

Hari Om
Jenni